The Devil's Debit

[baavgai]

Even before my current government trivialized the term "evil", I often referred to credit cards as such. Telling the an apparently numb checkoutbot that I'll be paying with "the evil plastic" rarely fails to get a rise, and sometimes even a smile. And, indeed, no one seems confused by the sympathy. In modern times, a credit card seems as necessary an evil as PCB filled dump sites.

Their true evil was revealed to me on a recent trip out of state. Upon my first purchase, a little red flag goes up in credit hell central. There is a delay, a secondary verification, probably a mother's maiden name. Now the evil plastic condescends to do it's job and pay the nice lady. But the alarm has been raised and I have to go through this little dance for a couple of other transactions.

When I call, I'm told this harassment is for my protection.
Me: Bullshit, I'm only libel for $50 by law. I'm willing to take that risk. You're covering your ass.
Frazzled Indian Service Drone: We are only trying to provide the best possible service, sir.
Me: (sigh) Fine, what do I have to do to make the card work again?
FISD: But sir, your card is working. Everything is fine.
Me: When I use again, will the sirens start?
FISD: Sir?
Me: You keep asking for extra confirmation. I want that to stop. How do I make that happen?
FISD: One moment, sir... (long wait) Oh, have you left your state of residence.
Me: Yeah, I told you that.
FISD: Did you officially notify us before you left the state? You would have none of these problems if you had properly told us.
Me: I have to report my travel plans to you?!?
FISD: Yes. That would be best, sir.
( We exchange some info, including precisely how long I'm going to be away. The fact that I booked the tickets on the same card matters little. )
FISD: Very good, sir. Would you be interested it our next wonderful offer to make you more secure?
Me: No, I don't think I'm interested in doing any more business with you at this time.
FISD: Alright, sir. Have a pleasant evening and thank you for choosing our soul killing service.
Me: Um, thanks.

For the remainder of the trip the card behaved, but I always cringed just a little handing it over. Then, upon return, it coughed again! There's more than enough funds available and the bastards are paid like clockwork. What now?

Upon inspecting the site, I note that the minimum payment that they originally told me had tripled since I last looked. My autopay service was going to pay the first amount. Can they do that? Bugger it, I send them a big lump sum for tomorrow. I'll call them after they get it, no reason to give a sacarine snide service person any extra ammo.

Then, right after the money is sent, someone tells me the story of a couple who overpaid their credit card and were locked up by homeland security for 60 days. WTF?!? Well, I found the story and the players never did get incarcerated, but it's still ugly.

As an aside, "credit card" is numerologically identical to Cthulu and factors to 13. I suspect this is not significant. ;)

C R E D I T C A R D
3+18+5+4+9+20+3+1+18+4 = 85

C T H U L U
3+20+8+21+12+21 = 85

Bastards.

Comments

[ladypeyton.livejournal.com]

sacarine snide service person

As someone who worked for a credit card company as both customer service ans debt collection....it's quite possilbe that the person you're speaking to ton the other end of the phone hates credit card companies just as much as you do.

Thank ghod for debit cards.

[baavgai.livejournal.com]

Don't defend the evil, that only makes it more powerful... ;)

Yeah, I know. I rarely give phone folks a hard time, really. I know they have no power and are probably more frustrated by their company's practices than I could ever begin to know.

However, some helpdesk folks live to get the caller off the line post haste; many conform to some kind of quota. So, unlike a face to face where I can put someone at ease, I'm usually dealing with someone at the other end of the line who's either a couple of lattes away from going postal or long since self lobotomized.

I believe that Dante's hell needs a few extensions build, particularly for the Enron types, insurance companies, email spammers, and telemarketers. ( Add your own levels, it's fun. )

I feel bad for the helpdesk, but credit card companies seem to sublet that hell between usurers or insurers. There is a Buddhist invocation for a happy life that includes "right work", meaning don't maintain your livelihood through questionable means.

So, in this instance; I'm karma, baby! Seriously some jobs can't possibly pay enough. Just look at the poor schmuck that David Spade is always torturing on those commercials. Maybe if they couldn't get the helpdesk frontline they'd try to decrease the calls at the source. That, or outsource; evil bloody companies. ;-)

With you...

[kandy-elizabet.livejournal.com]

We use Debit cards and have had little problem (well, renting a car was a pain in the butt..) However, the real fun came when we went to England. Now, using a debit card is actually for us the best option in England -- our credit union doesn't charge any exchange rate fee -- the day's exchange rate is all we pay, no fees or charges. I had carefully called the credit union and let them know exactly when we were goint to be in England. When we got back, there was a message on the machine from the anti-fraud people. Fortunately they hadn't turned off the cards, but it anoyed me all the same, having told them of the trip.

'Course that's the old credit union. They've merged with another one now, so I'll wait to see what they do when we go away this fall... :)

[tashadandelion.livejournal.com]

"and thank you for choosing our soul killing service."

That about sums it up completely. Oy.

[dame-margarete.livejournal.com]

I believe that most, if not all, credit card companies have recently increased their minimum payments to "help" people who would otherwise be paying down their debt for the next million years. I vaguely remember hearing that this was some government directive or somesuch silliness.