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Even before my current government trivialized the term "evil", I often referred to credit cards as such. Telling the an apparently numb checkoutbot that I'll be paying with "the evil plastic" rarely fails to get a rise, and sometimes even a smile. And, indeed, no one seems confused by the sympathy. In modern times, a credit card seems as necessary an evil as PCB filled dump sites.
Their true evil was revealed to me on a recent trip out of state. Upon my first purchase, a little red flag goes up in credit hell central. There is a delay, a secondary verification, probably a mother's maiden name. Now the evil plastic condescends to do it's job and pay the nice lady. But the alarm has been raised and I have to go through this little dance for a couple of other transactions.
When I call, I'm told this harassment is for my protection.
Me: Bullshit, I'm only libel for $50 by law. I'm willing to take that risk. You're covering your ass.
Frazzled Indian Service Drone: We are only trying to provide the best possible service, sir.
Me: (sigh) Fine, what do I have to do to make the card work again?
FISD: But sir, your card is working. Everything is fine.
Me: When I use again, will the sirens start?
FISD: Sir?
Me: You keep asking for extra confirmation. I want that to stop. How do I make that happen?
FISD: One moment, sir... (long wait) Oh, have you left your state of residence.
Me: Yeah, I told you that.
FISD: Did you officially notify us before you left the state? You would have none of these problems if you had properly told us.
Me: I have to report my travel plans to you?!?
FISD: Yes. That would be best, sir.
( We exchange some info, including precisely how long I'm going to be away. The fact that I booked the tickets on the same card matters little. )
FISD: Very good, sir. Would you be interested it our next wonderful offer to make you more secure?
Me: No, I don't think I'm interested in doing any more business with you at this time.
FISD: Alright, sir. Have a pleasant evening and thank you for choosing our soul killing service.
Me: Um, thanks.
For the remainder of the trip the card behaved, but I always cringed just a little handing it over. Then, upon return, it coughed again! There's more than enough funds available and the bastards are paid like clockwork. What now?
Upon inspecting the site, I note that the minimum payment that they originally told me had tripled since I last looked. My autopay service was going to pay the first amount. Can they do that? Bugger it, I send them a big lump sum for tomorrow. I'll call them after they get it, no reason to give a sacarine snide service person any extra ammo.
Then, right after the money is sent, someone tells me the story of a couple who overpaid their credit card and were locked up by homeland security for 60 days. WTF?!? Well, I found the story and the players never did get incarcerated, but it's still ugly.
As an aside, "credit card" is numerologically identical to Cthulu and factors to 13. I suspect this is not significant. ;)
Bastards.
Their true evil was revealed to me on a recent trip out of state. Upon my first purchase, a little red flag goes up in credit hell central. There is a delay, a secondary verification, probably a mother's maiden name. Now the evil plastic condescends to do it's job and pay the nice lady. But the alarm has been raised and I have to go through this little dance for a couple of other transactions.
When I call, I'm told this harassment is for my protection.
Me: Bullshit, I'm only libel for $50 by law. I'm willing to take that risk. You're covering your ass.
Frazzled Indian Service Drone: We are only trying to provide the best possible service, sir.
Me: (sigh) Fine, what do I have to do to make the card work again?
FISD: But sir, your card is working. Everything is fine.
Me: When I use again, will the sirens start?
FISD: Sir?
Me: You keep asking for extra confirmation. I want that to stop. How do I make that happen?
FISD: One moment, sir... (long wait) Oh, have you left your state of residence.
Me: Yeah, I told you that.
FISD: Did you officially notify us before you left the state? You would have none of these problems if you had properly told us.
Me: I have to report my travel plans to you?!?
FISD: Yes. That would be best, sir.
( We exchange some info, including precisely how long I'm going to be away. The fact that I booked the tickets on the same card matters little. )
FISD: Very good, sir. Would you be interested it our next wonderful offer to make you more secure?
Me: No, I don't think I'm interested in doing any more business with you at this time.
FISD: Alright, sir. Have a pleasant evening and thank you for choosing our soul killing service.
Me: Um, thanks.
For the remainder of the trip the card behaved, but I always cringed just a little handing it over. Then, upon return, it coughed again! There's more than enough funds available and the bastards are paid like clockwork. What now?
Upon inspecting the site, I note that the minimum payment that they originally told me had tripled since I last looked. My autopay service was going to pay the first amount. Can they do that? Bugger it, I send them a big lump sum for tomorrow. I'll call them after they get it, no reason to give a sacarine snide service person any extra ammo.
Then, right after the money is sent, someone tells me the story of a couple who overpaid their credit card and were locked up by homeland security for 60 days. WTF?!? Well, I found the story and the players never did get incarcerated, but it's still ugly.
As an aside, "credit card" is numerologically identical to Cthulu and factors to 13. I suspect this is not significant. ;)
C R E D I T C A R D
3+18+5+4+9+20+3+1+18+4 = 85
C T H U L U
3+20+8+21+12+21 = 85Bastards.