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Have you ever gotten strange responses when you call someone on the phone? Every wonder what the back story was? Afraid to ask? Well, here's one:
The phone, answered by me, "What?!?" This could be paraphrasing, but even an empathetically anesthetized individual would probably have been able to read something like, "Yeah, what the hell do you want and why are you bothering me NOW?"
Earlier that day... Myself, and half the office, have just moved cubicles. My spare work computer, the linux box that I back up to, has managed to get it's CPU cooked in the move. Tomorrow is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
loosecanon's birthday and I don't have squat.
To be fair, we'd gotten enough books for a small library wing as a gift. You know, the "this will be my present" sort of thing. Note to all males, never buy this line, it's total crap. If you don't have something, anything, in hand at zero hour, you're toast.
Being the dedicated employee that I am, in the midst of a complete office moving day stress out, I leave an hour early. That hour is used to go to the local computer carrying mega mart and pick up a nice 19" LCD monitor; something the cat hopefully can't hurt. The present comes in the size of a two foot square, six inch thick box, about 15lbs. It's a heavy, unwieldily giant pizza box, with a nice plastic handle that feels like it's about to let loose.
Present in hand, I rush home to beat... never mind, the other car is already home. I cleverly leave the box in the car, for later extraction. We're going out, of course, in my car. "I need five more minutes to get ready, just reading email... good." The box in placed in a black plastic bag and "hidden" in a corner of the room.
My hidden box is almost revealed several times and then a miracle happens, loosecanon has to run out and talk to someone. I'm nonchalant. The minute the car pulls away I'm a mad man with wrapping and tape and scissors. Of course, if we'd had any of those things it would be cool. I make due with electrical tape and medical sheers and some old crumpled xmas stuff.
The box is heavy, the wrapping is thin and cranky, the desktop is too damn small. My time is short, I could get caught out at any moment. After cursing, cutting, and maneuvering, I have the box balanced precariously in the middle of a five foot long unfurled length of wrapping paper, trying to get some tension, groping for tape, and realizing the shears are under the box. At this very instant, the phone rings.
More cursing, fumbling, horrible papery crinkling sounds, stumbling out of chair, tripping over phone cord, shears barely missing toes, and I have the phone receiver in hand. "What?!?" is the only thing I can gasp out, trying not to drop the phone.
"Um, hello?" comes a bewildered sounding voice, as if it's not sure if it should hang up or not. "Is loosecanon there?"
"*gasp* *sputter* Huh? No! Um, sorry, no, they're not here at the moment, sorry" Well, after I get my equilibrium, I try to explain the birthday wrapping thing, but I don't think the caller's heard any of it. They're just trying to leave a message and get off the phone as quickly as possible with the crazy guy, that's me, on the other end of the line.
The present did get wrapped and hidden again, as the car came up the driveway. All is well.
Happy old,loosecanon!
The phone, answered by me, "What?!?" This could be paraphrasing, but even an empathetically anesthetized individual would probably have been able to read something like, "Yeah, what the hell do you want and why are you bothering me NOW?"
Earlier that day... Myself, and half the office, have just moved cubicles. My spare work computer, the linux box that I back up to, has managed to get it's CPU cooked in the move. Tomorrow is
loosecanon's birthday and I don't have squat.To be fair, we'd gotten enough books for a small library wing as a gift. You know, the "this will be my present" sort of thing. Note to all males, never buy this line, it's total crap. If you don't have something, anything, in hand at zero hour, you're toast.
Being the dedicated employee that I am, in the midst of a complete office moving day stress out, I leave an hour early. That hour is used to go to the local computer carrying mega mart and pick up a nice 19" LCD monitor; something the cat hopefully can't hurt. The present comes in the size of a two foot square, six inch thick box, about 15lbs. It's a heavy, unwieldily giant pizza box, with a nice plastic handle that feels like it's about to let loose.
Present in hand, I rush home to beat... never mind, the other car is already home. I cleverly leave the box in the car, for later extraction. We're going out, of course, in my car. "I need five more minutes to get ready, just reading email... good." The box in placed in a black plastic bag and "hidden" in a corner of the room.
My hidden box is almost revealed several times and then a miracle happens, loosecanon has to run out and talk to someone. I'm nonchalant. The minute the car pulls away I'm a mad man with wrapping and tape and scissors. Of course, if we'd had any of those things it would be cool. I make due with electrical tape and medical sheers and some old crumpled xmas stuff.
The box is heavy, the wrapping is thin and cranky, the desktop is too damn small. My time is short, I could get caught out at any moment. After cursing, cutting, and maneuvering, I have the box balanced precariously in the middle of a five foot long unfurled length of wrapping paper, trying to get some tension, groping for tape, and realizing the shears are under the box. At this very instant, the phone rings.
More cursing, fumbling, horrible papery crinkling sounds, stumbling out of chair, tripping over phone cord, shears barely missing toes, and I have the phone receiver in hand. "What?!?" is the only thing I can gasp out, trying not to drop the phone.
"Um, hello?" comes a bewildered sounding voice, as if it's not sure if it should hang up or not. "Is loosecanon there?"
"*gasp* *sputter* Huh? No! Um, sorry, no, they're not here at the moment, sorry" Well, after I get my equilibrium, I try to explain the birthday wrapping thing, but I don't think the caller's heard any of it. They're just trying to leave a message and get off the phone as quickly as possible with the crazy guy, that's me, on the other end of the line.
The present did get wrapped and hidden again, as the car came up the driveway. All is well.
Happy old,
loosecanon!![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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and Parker *hates* the new monitor, so thank you =) You are still older than me!
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Reminds me of the blood sweat and tears involved when
Boys can be so sweet sometimes. (that's you)
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Happy belated birthday,
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Helen