Xmas Cards

I don't do Christmas cards. It's not some "I don't do xmas so suck it" kind of thing. More like, "I appreciate the thought, now what do I do with the dead tree." Most people I know who are into xmas cards set up little shrines to them.

The cards always have a home next to their kin. They multiply like festive little virii, imploring everyone to be peaceful and happy and joyful and all manner wonderfully affirmative things. But they have a more sinister purpose; they guilt the receiver into returning the favor.

It's a holiday arms race via air mail. When you tally the received versus sent, you'd best have given everyone that's given you or Santa's sending you coal that smells like it came out of Rudolf. Tis the season of... no, not joy, stress. And lots of it.

I don't send xmas cards. No matter how many times I get them, there are none being sent in return. Really, honest, nothing personal. I don't have a card shrine. Well, I do, but it's circular and also where I put used tissue.

I suppose I feel vaguely guilty about my card cavalierness or I wouldn't be writing about it. Then again, perhaps I just want others to take up the cause. Alright all you "go green" people, forget SUVs, boycott Hallmark! Down with the Seasons Greetings tree killers of Doom! I wonder if they have a card for that...