I have something to admit; my neighbors' lawn art entertains me. Sometimes not for the reasons they intended. Maybe most times. I try not to point as I mock.

Tis the season, of course. The xmas bling will be killing the grass for a few more days. Unfortunately, my personal favorite did not make an appearance this year. It was a inflatable Santa on a yugo sized sleigh pulled by a single rotund Rudolf. It's hard to make balloon animal reindeer tack, so the fat man is essentially fused to the back of the beast. Add to this the variable state of inflation and Santa is often awkwardly lurching into Rudolf, a creepy-jolly hohoho on his face. I really miss the "Reindeer Buggering Santa."

One busy lawn filled with xmas spirit features a variety of themes; some traditional, some comical. Strangely enough, it's the Homer Simpson clad in a Santa suit in the place of honor. Today he was bent at the waist, bowed forward into the street, looking like he was expecting some kind of prison justice. Still, it made me sad. That lawn has been sold recently. It used to be home to a particularly whimsical ornament.

When not littered with holiday refuse, many lawns sport less seasonal ornamentation. A local favorite in the strongly Catholic neighborhood is the Virgin Mary. Mary is pretty consistent is her portrayal, though the size is variable. She runs from Barbie doll sized to big enough to take on a lawn Jockey. Her smaller visage is often a stealth statue, guarding flower beds and presumably keeping away the gnomes. The largest are usually front and center lawn guardians. Some have a Venus on the Half Shell backing, like a mini amphitheater bandshell. The inside of this construct is always a swimming pool blue, further evoking Botticelli's Venus.

One large and enshrouded Mary once graced the location currently held by "do me" Simpson. More, there was a large tree stump on the lawn and she perched atop it, as if placidly looking over her charges. What made her special wasn't just her location and throne, but her subjects. The only other denizens of the lawn were a pair of frogs that sat raptly at her feet. They were mildly anthropomorphic and seemed to be picnicking in her presence. While possibly sacrilegious, it always seemed good hearted and often made me smile.

I still recall fondly the quirky image of Mary and the Frogs.
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